Cross Kenshin
by Soulstealer777
Summary: Kenshin is called away on business for a little while. Little does he know that his identical cousin Zenshin (6 times removed) is dropping by for a visit.
1. Default Chapter

_Okay before I start I don't friggen own Ruroni Kenshin. Some other guy does. However I do own a 2004 Cadillac with chrome 20's and leather interior with a seat warmer... Okay it's just a regular Cadillac... Okay it's really a Kia... Okay it's a go-kart... fine it's a tricycle... and it belongs to my neighbor. This is getting depressing let's talk about something else. Oh that's right! The fan fic! I'm writing this off the top of my head so don't fuggin'... Do whatever you want, I don't care. If you read this then send a good review OR a flame... haven't gotten one of those in a while. Also I don't speak Japanese so there may or may not be a couple of name mis-spellations. What else? Oh yeah! Every one's pretty much an idiot except kenshin..._

Cross Kenshin

By Soulstealer777 Silver fang Charon Dark El horny Macnifico the 3rd

Somewhere in northern Japan was a gambling spot, err casino if you will. Suddenly a man wearing a blue and black gi and hakkana with long red hair and a long katana at his side ran out. He looked just like Kenshin aside from the cross-shaped scar that he lacked. Angry drunks and dealers were chasing him out. "Come back, Zenshin! We want the money you owe us!!" They shouted.

"Run! Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can't catch me cause I have a sword!" The Kenshin like guy said as he turned and drew is blade.

"Boulder cutting blade!" Zenshin shouted as he fired a blast of intense wind knocking around the gamblers like sheets of paper. They all laid around the street groaning in pain.

"Heh. Weaklings, but they'll be capacitated again soon so I should hide out at my cousin, Kenshin's place. I hear he stays at the SWEET dojo in the south." The Kenshin look a-like, Zenshin thought as the scene faded.

Another day at the Kamiya-jin Dojo. Which was involved in all usual activity. Karou and Yahiko Practicing that same sword stroke inside. Kenshin around doing housework, And Sanoske sitting around NOT paying his debts. As the day went on like it normally did eventually Kenshin's housework obligations took him to sweeping the front porch. Just sweeping minding his own business... Just sweeping.... sweeping, sweeping, sweeping......... UNTIL SEITO CAME FROM NOWHERE AND ALMOST STABBED KENSHIN TO DEATH WITH HIS KILLER JAPANESSE SWORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kenshin being the main character and everything quiet easily dodged his rival's attack. Kenshin slid back some then prepared his Bato-jutsu stance.

"Why are here, Seito!?" The red haired drifter asked.

"To deliver the mail of course." Seito said with a calm smile.

"Oro? Weren't you a policeman or something?" Kenshin replied.

"I was but they demoted me for obsessive violence..." Seito emitted.

"I see..." Kenshin said sarcastically.

"But why did they think a mail man would be any less... murderous for you?" Kenshin continued.

"We ALL know from history that the Manji government are total screw up's. After all didn't Shishio almost dominate the country from their complete lack of a militia?" Seito explained.

"hmmm... So that's why..." Kenshin began.

"Anyway. I've got more innocent people to terrorize so I'll just be leaving this message from the Manji government." Seito said as he handed Kenshin a white envelope.

"Kill ya... I mean see ya later Botosi" Seito said again as he began down the street.

"odd...." Kenshin thought staring at his rival walking down the road. Kenshin decided it was probably better not to ask why the day was turning out so weird and just opened his envelope. it read

_**YO Himura Kenshin**_

_**We're kind of in another bind. Come bail us out. We were doing some work for this cartel of drug dealers but the deal went bad and now they want their money. We're all hiding in a closet in the main government building. Please help, we don't want to die, plus Bill from accounting had three burritos. please hurry!**_

_**Your main Bitch,**_

_**The Manji government**_

_**ps. They were BEAN burritos!**_

Kenshin finished reading.

"Oro?" Kenshin thought.

"This is for gosh darn ridiculous." He said to himself.

"Kenshin what's going on?" Kaouru asked. Kenshin turned around to see Yahiko, Kaoru, and Sano were looking at him.

"I have to go away for a while." Kenshin explained.

"Why?" Kaoru asked simply, but with a touch of concern in her voice.

"Gotta save Japan's ass again. ya know, the usual." Kenshin said casually as he began to walk down the road.

"see ya later kenshin!"

"Get them for me, Kenshin!"

"Be careful!" The voices of Kenshin's friends shouted.

"It's good that he has a part time job aside from baby sitting us." Kaoru commented.

"Yeah, baby sitting the country." Sano replied.

"Kenshin's my hero!!" Yahiko said. suddenly Zenshin appeared in the walkway.

"Hi there!" He greeted everyone.

"Oh! Kenshin! That was quick. I guess the bad guys must have been really weak." Kaoru said mistaking Zenshin for the legendary manslayer, Kenshin.

"Huh? I'm not..." Zenshin began.

"Kenshin! Let me get you a sake!" Sano said running back into the dojo.

"Kenshin! I idolize you. Can I have your autograph... Again!?" Yahiko shouted.

"Kenshin, you're probably tired from your battle. Wanna make out?" Kaoru asked seductively. Zenshin already realized that Kenshin's friends had mistaken him for his cousin. In fact it happened really often. Afterall, they bought their clothes at the same shop and they had a strikingly similar appearance. No scar though. At first he was gonna tell them the truth but then a random pretty raccoon girl asked to make out with him.

"Of course I'm my cousin... I mean Kenshin!" He proclaimed.

"YaY!" Yahiko and Kaoru shouted.

In front of the Manji Headquarters

Kenshin stood before the huge building that was completely surrounded by men in robes holding light sabers.

"The Jedi drug cartel?...... Shit."

To be continued

_I emit this isn't the most eloquent thing I've written however I need something to write during 2nd period. Please review or flame, just tell me what you thought, and if it's a flame it better be funny! This Chapter is short but the rest should be friggin' huge! No guarantees though..._


	2. Megumi is not an idiot

Cross Kenshin

Chapter 2

Zenshin had established his place as an imposster for about 1 hour now. Because of his uncanny resembalence to his cousin Kenshin who was away on business, he could easily manipulate Kenshin's friends into waiting hand and foot on him. However, he did not realize that not everyone in this fic was a total idiot... supringly

Zenshin was now relaxing inside the kimiya-jin dojo while Yahiko fanned him with a large leaf. "Kenshin, are you sure this is how you train to use hiten- mitsurugi sword techniques?" The young swordsman asked. Zenshin did not answer. "Kenshin?" Yahiko called.

"Huh? Oh! That's me isn't it? Yes of corse it is. But if you doubt me... errr what was your name again?" Zenshin asked.

"Yahiko. You know that, Kenshin." Yahiko commented.

"Yeah Yagiko. But if you doubt me then I can pass the style to someone else instead." Zenshin said.

"Wha!!!!! Of course not, I would never doubt you, Kenshin!" Yahiko shouted as he began to fan even harder. Kaoru walked inot the room carrying a bowl of grapes.

"Yahiko-chan, you're not making trouble for Kenshin, are you?" Karou asked.

"Of corse not!" Yahiko insisted. "Wait! What did you call me !?!?!?" Yahiko shouted in the realization the Karou added "Chan" to his name. Karou came in sat next to Zenshin.

"How are you feeling, Kenshin?" Karou asked. I know you guys are confused right now but I can explain. Karou has never exactly acted upon her feelings with Kenshin. However if Kenshin was to... err... swoon her, then she'd be all over him in a second. Zenshin totally took advantage of the situation, and since then karou had been acting a lot like megumi. Zenshin yawned.

"Well... I'm a little hungry." Zenshin commented.

"That's good because I brought grapes." Karou said cheerfully.

"Oh goodie! Grapes!" Zenshin replied.

"Don't get up, dear. I'll take care of everything." Karou said as she began feeding him grapes.

"I hate this mushy stuff" Yahiko thought. Suddenly Megumi walked into the room to find Karou feeding Zenshin grapes, but then she realized that it wasn't really Kenshin.

"Karou! Who is this man?" She asked.

"Why it's Kenshin of course. Have you forgotten? Never mind. I'd never be THAT lucky." Karou insisted.

"Zing!" Yahiko commented.

"I don't know waht you're talking about but that... man is NOT Kenshin!" Megumi explained. The sudden acusation caused Zenshin to choke on one of his grapes. He beagn beating on his chest on until he finnaly managed to cough it up. Unfortuatly it hit Yahiko in the eye. "Ahhhh!!!! My eye!!!!" Yahiko shouted rolling around on the floor.

"See what you've done now Megumi? Two people are hurt. Aren't you supposed to be a doctor?" Karou commented now holding Zenshin very tight.

"Gawd!!!! why is everyone around here such an idiot!?" the fustrated megumi shouted.

"What's going on in here?" A voice called from the hallway. Suddenly Sanoske appeared in the doorway behing Megumi.

"Megumi has lost her mind. She thinks that Kenshin is an imposster." Karou explained.

"Is this true. Megumi?" Sano asked.

"Well... Yes! Can't you see it? That man is NOT kenshin!" Megumi exclaimed. Zenshin jumped to his feet.

"Of course i'm the real Kenshin." He said.

"No your not. Just look at you. Your clothes are the wrong color." Megumi stated.

"What? Just because i'm kenshin I have to wear the same fuggin' clothes everyday!?" Zenshin exclaimed.

"Ooooooooo" Karou, Yahiko, and Sano exclaimed.

"Okay then, how come you're holding a REAL sword?" She asked pointing to his VERY sharp and dangerous non-reverse blade sword.

"My other sword is in the shop." Zenshin explained.

"Ooooooooo!!" Karou, Yahiko, and Sano exclaimed again.

"Fine. Where's the cross shaped scar on your face?" Megumi asked.

"It healed. Gawd! You ask morre questions then over-protective parent, but yyou probaly get layed less." Zenshin cme back.

"Zing!" Sano exclaimed.

"It's gonna be a long day." Megumi thought.

outside of the meiji (thanks for the pointer) HQ

Kenshin was still outside of the Meiji building wondering how in the world he was gonna get past jedi. His reverse blade sword was no match for a friggin' light saber. Suddenly a transparent blue little green guy shaped robed guy appeared before him.

"Kenshin!" It exclaimed.

"Master Yoda?" Kenshin questioned.

"No. I'm his cousin 6 times removed, Zoda." The figure explained.

"...Okay..." Kenshin said.

"If you wish to save the Meiji government again, and I don't see why you would. You have to use the force." Zoda explained.

"But i'm not a jedi." Kenshin explained.

"Oh, that right. Well then take this." The figure said as it handed him a metal object.

"What's this? Kenshin asked.

"It's a reverse blade saber. With it you won't get a total Jedi beat down inside." Zoda said.

"Thank you. However I have one question. If you're a hologram then ow did you give this blade to me?" Kenshin asked.

"err... Gotta go!" Zoda said as he disapeared.

"Wierd..." Kenshin thought. "Okay! Time to kick some ass!" Kenshin exclaimed as he rushed the front gates.


	3. Ending well sort of

_Hey hey! I almost forgot that this fic exsisted. So here's the final chapter that i'm just pulling out of my ass. By the way, I don't own Ruroni Kenshin. Are these disclaimers really nesisary? Oh crap, Lawers, Gotta run!_

Cross Kenshin

By Soulstealer777 Silver fang Charon Dark El horny Macnifico the 3rd

So Kenshin had just got a reverse blade saber from some mysterious figure. He now stood outside of the meiji government headquarters which was guarded by two jedi. "Let's rock!" Kenshin said to himself as he charged the two Jedi. Appearantly the wern't very good because they didn't even since the samurai and were quickly cut on by his reverse blade saber. Kenshin stared at his new weapon. "Wow. This things friggen' powerful! I could probaly get a new season for my show with this. That I could" Kenshin thought to himself. "In fact... Screw this. I'm going home. The Meiji government can suck a dick and go to hell." Kenshin said as he began for home.

Back at the Kamiya Dojo

Zenshin stood up from a palot on the floor. He looked back down to see a half-naked Karou sleeping tangled between the sheets. Zenshin yawed then existed the room. "This is great! Half the people here worship me. The people on the streets think i'm a legendary man slayer. AND I just got layed. This has been... It's just..." Zenshin having a hard time coming up with words to describe how happy he was. "Best. Day. Ever." He implied. Zenshin walked outside to get some fresh air before he went back to "tend" to Karou again. "Die Batosi" A voice shouted. Suddenly Zenshin jumped to the side as Saito buried his sword deep into the ground where Zenshin originaly stood. Saito took his sword form the ground then pointed it at Zenshin. "ARe you ready yo die, Kenshin?" Saito asked. "Wait... What?" Zenshin implied. "I came here to kill you... Just like every day." Saito implied. "Why?" Zenshin asked. "Because we were rivals during the revolution." Saito explained. "Why" Zenshin asked. "Because you fought for the meiji government." Saito continued. "Why?" Zenhin asked. "Because they made a crap load of false promises." Saito said. "Why?" Kenshin asked. "Becuase the meiji are crack smoking idiots" Saito said. "Why?" Kenshin asked."Because crack taste good. I've got some at home, wanna come?" Saito asked. "I'm game." Zenshin implied as he and Saito walked hand and hand into the sunset.

I know anyone reading this fic is thinking. WTF? Well that's the same thing I thought after I came down form my crack and coffee high. I had a good time writing this completly meaningless fic and you should be proud that you actually had the will power to sit down and read this BS. So as I usually say at the end of a show....

Fuck the corperate world Byatch!


End file.
